When City Wakes Up, but You Do Not: Technique to Deal with Depression

Psychology

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I often recall her when I don’t want to get out of bed in very bad horrible internal weather. Then my eyes open, looking at the room, the view outside the window and my hands. I close them and remind myself of something important, and then … then I get up.

One winter morning in Brussels I was looking for a subway. Every minute is valuable during a short journey. In such cases, the best solution is to turn to GPS passers-by. Knowing that the station is somewhere close, I’m standing at the transition totally confused because of my location. Hoping to get just a mini-hint my intuitive compass finds a middle-aged woman:

— Could you help me? I need…

Before finishing she quickly turns to me, smiles and answers:

 Yes, of course, I’ll try!

After these words, she laughs, and I ask about the subway. I notice how sunny she is, and bright in contrast to the damp, wet weather. She starts describing the route, offering to walk together. With every word, her cheerful voice raises my mood, and her vigorous gestures with easy gait and the fat figure give make her look like a kind fairy godmother.

On our  way we shared facts that give only a generalized impression about new person: why I was here now, how she was moved once, how she lives, where a tourist should go. The greater part of what was said was erased from my memory, but right now I feel her energy and active attention to me, see her warm smile and curious look. Just five minutes later we come to the destination, and I say goodbye as usual:

— Have a nice day!

She spreads into a smile and instantly replies:

—  Oh yes, I will try! Yeah, I will try!

Can you imagine? Instead of the expected “you too”, “thank you,” and “all the best to you,” she gave a truly author’s answer. She will try and will do everything possible to make her day really good!

Smiling and amazed, I looked at her admiringly, as a vivid example of responsibility. We said goodbye, and I went thinking about an unexpected lesson of wisdom about how I can make my day good.

There are rainy periods that seem eternal and great, when I feel myself insignificantly small and powerless. I want to give up, but I tell my new day:

— I will try.

Yes, the mood is still not summer. No instant frame change, bright and warm sun did not jump out from behind the clouds. The only thing that has changed is the idea that makes you valuable. I begin to believe in myself. It gives me a sense of support, a resource of inner strength. And when you believe that you are capable to influence something even small, you feel like a photo making up from film camera. You feel that you are living your life.

Without trying, it’s hard to realize how self-confidence develops with every attempt. Only starting you can feel how with every step the body wakes up. Even a little, but you are feeling better and this is the most important thing now.

Most likely that woman doesn’t even suspect how much she’d influenced me. I’m grateful to her for the valuable gift that saved a lot of my days.

Days are neutral by default. Only such settings. They are neither good nor bad. They go their own way, connecting into a single whole, creating our stories. Day is a palette where our thoughts, feelings and actions are mixed. Sometimes the only way to get another experience and believe in yourself is to change something in behavior: paint your first smears and feel brush in your hand.

Now the wish of my friend on the book is feeling supportive and honest: “Remember, the new year won’t bring you anything. Only you can bring into it everything you want. This is what I wish you”

Every day ask yourself: “What can I do to change something?”
You can always answer: “I can try.”

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